"Hey Tweek, whats your biggest fear?" the words escape my mouth before I even have the chance to stop them. I look over at the shivering boy, whos eyes were lidded, arms relaxed behind his head as a pillow, his bed being the surface of the earth.
Those lips, those captivating lips open, while one of those lids creep open as well, revealing hazel eyes. I'm in a trance again, captivated by this kids beauty. Is it wrong, is it wrong that I'm falling in love with a guy? I almost don't catch what he says, come back from lala land, Craig.
"Nhg! Me? Oh god! I... its silly man! You'd laugh at me, Its way too much pressure!" By now, both eyes are open, Tweek turned on his side, looking me right in the face. I wasn't honestly expecting an answer, I mean... this is Tweek! The boy whose afraid of just about everything. He couldn't possibly have one fear, out of all of them, that is his biggest. Can he? I sit up, now I'm curious. What could he possibly be so afraid of? Death? The dark? Underpants gnomes?
"I won't laugh Tweek. If it scares you so much, why would I laugh?" my voice is apathetic. I only succeeded in sounding uncaring, the opposite of what I wanted to sound like. I lift my hand, and rest it on my friends shoulder to assure him that I wasn't lying. He begins to push himself off the ground as well, sitting in pretzel style.
Those hazel eyes gaze to the sky, and my own, blue ones follow as well.
It was summer in South Park. The only time of the year where we had sunlight. And today was a beautiful, sunny day. The bright blue sky was decorated with white puffy clouds, the sun smiling down at us. Today we decided to fuck everything and everyone else. Today was our day. Just Tweek and Craig. No Clyde, no Token, no fatass, no work. Just the two of us, lying under the clouds, by the side of Stark's pond.
"Geh! You... you have to promise not tell anyone man! What if someone find out and... what if someone finds out and tries to use it against me! Gah! Just thinking about it is too much-"
"I get it Tweek! Its too much pressure. Trust me, I will never tell anyone. Pinky Swear." I extend my pinky out to him, and he stares at it for a few minutes, examining it to see if I have any germs. After a few seconds, he lets out a sigh, and takes his own pinky, hooking it with mine.
"Fine!" his voice suddenly gets serious, and it almost worries me.
"I'm afraid..." He begins. I'm anxious to know, waiting for him to tell.
"I'm afraid of dying alone."
And then it stops. It feels like everything stopped.
Of dying alone?
Was that a fear? I look up at Tweek, his face is turning a little red, his hands playing with some of his messy, blond hair. Out of all the things to be afraid of, why would dying alone be one of them?
"Why?" I ask, was I concerned? Was it curiosity? I wanted to know.
By now he looked about ready to cry, and I felt a heavy feeling in my chest. I felt like shit.
Why did I ask in the first place?
I begin to rise, getting ready to walk all the way home, feeling like scum for making my best friend cry. What kind of friend does that? But I hear his voice,
"I'm afraid because... I'm afraid because I feel like I'll die, and no one will care. That I'll die, and no one will be there for me. No one to remember the twitchy blond freak. When I die... I want a piece of me to go with someone important. I'm just afraid that won't ever happen."
I felt an even more sinking feeling in my chest, hugging myself as I just stand there, letting the wind blow my hair in all directions.
Now I feel like a jerk. Is that all I have to say? 'oh.'
He nods, and I sit back down, looking down at the grass below me.
"You know..." I start, but I don't know where I'm going with it. The blond looks at me, straight in the face. I almost feel afraid to continue.
"You don't have to be afraid, I can't make promises, but I can promise that you will always be a part of me. No one else in the world may care if you die, but I do. And I'll always remember you." I smile, for once I smile. Not a big one, a small, almost a shy smile. And he smiles back.
I reach my hand out, and yet again, he examines for germs. I almost laugh at the familiarity of this. But that would be inappropriate. Finally, his hand goes in mine.